What to do with the past....

Leave the broken, irreversible past in God's hands,
and step out into the invincible future with Him.
~O. Chambers

Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
~Ps. 9:10 NIV

Painful Issues

"Without confrontation of painful issues from the past, it is impossible to go forward with a healthy soul."
-Joyce Meyer

So often looking back means dealing with the aching pain that I have attempted to bury. I think that Joyce put it perfectly. I knew there had to be a way to find balance.... "Deal with the hurt from the past- because it will free you and make you whole." (my summary/my perspective-which is subject to change!)

Be my hopes

The last few days have been difficult. There are so many decisions that have to be made. I feel like (as a single mom) I lack the balance that having a partner in this adventure would have to offer. I try to picture God as my partner now- together we will raise Katie. Despite that image, I still feel so inadequate.



I found this song tonight. I never heard it before. It is exactly what I need. I keep playing it over and over.

"And I will worship You, Lord, only You, Lord. And I will bow down before You, Only You Lord.

Take my fret, take my fear. All I have, I’m leaving here. Be all my hopes, be all my dreams. You're my delight, my everything."

Forgiven

This song has powerful lyrics that describe the way I have felt....
Here is my favorite part:
"In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am


When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven"

"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."
~God

"My peace I give you"

"John 20:19 - In the upper room, the disciples and followers of Jesus assembled with the doors bolted shut due to fear, anxiety, and the stress of the past days. Jesus appeared through the walls and said, “Peace, my peace I give to you.”
This Jesus -- who experienced REJECTION by friends, FALSE ACCUSATIONS by others, VERBAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, ABANDONMENT, and SEPARATION FROM GOD, --wants to enter the locked and chained areas of your life and bring you His peace and happiness."

FROM: CCOU 302 (Managing Stress and Overcoming Anxiety) Linda Hager

Strength and Weakness

"We often work so hard on trying to overcome our weaknesses that we never develop our strengths."
Joyce Meyer

It used to be different....

You know how it is... your mom repeated the same verse to you over and over while you were growing up and you just didn't get it. I know my mom, she realized one day it would sink in, right at the moment when we needed that wisdom the most... boy was she ever right! The last few weeks, I have had the same line on my heart, "Blessed are the peacemakers."
I was all ready to grab that one and run with it, "hehe," thought my prideful heart, "this one will be easy".
NOT! See it used to be different. Those used to be "words" and nothing more.

God has challenged me to really grasp the meaning of the words of Jesus from the "Sermon on the Mount" that day.... I decided (FINALLY) to sit down and spend some time in the Word- in order to get the rest of this message that has been turning over and over again in my brain.

I looked the passage up in the message bible. I know it's not the NIV or King James version, but sometimes the message just gives me the "spiritual spanking" of a lifetime.... it didn't let me off easy tonight either, let me tell ya!

Here's what it says: Matthew 5:3-12 (the message)

3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

I'm so thankful the Lord doesn't give up on my stubborn self. I'm thankful for the trials, the heartaches, the lies, the stealing and even the cheating- all these things led me closer to my God.

Don't waste your life

"Don’t waste another day of your life grieving over something that you cannot do anything about. Let God give you a new beginning. Your mistakes are not enough to stop God if you don’t let them." -Joyce Meyer

Powerful Insight

"Your personal testimony, however meaningful it is to you, is not the gospel."
— RC Sproul

I came across this quote on a friend's facebook page. It challenged me not just on a spiritual level, but a psychological and social level as well. Somehow we all get the idea that the way we've experienced an event or season in life and the things we have learned should have an equal effect on those around us. However, this is not the case. Each person has to decide for themselves how they will cope, reason and learn from the trials they face.... nothing can replace the gospel.

We were created to serve a God who teaches us new things to draw us closer to Him.

"Well, think again, you idiots,
fools—how long before you get smart?
Do you think Ear-Maker doesn't hear,
Eye-Shaper doesn't see?
Do you think the trainer of nations doesn't correct,
the teacher of Adam doesn't know?
God knows, all right—
knows your stupidity,
sees your shallowness.
How blessed the man you train, God,
the woman you instruct in your Word,
Providing a circle of quiet within the clamor of evil,
while a jail is being built for the wicked.
God will never walk away from his people,
never desert His precious people.
Rest assured that justice is on its way
and every good heart put right."
Psalm 94:8-15 the Message.